Sick

I said in my last post that I thought I was coming down with some sort of virus. The fever I developed yesterday confirmed it.

Sharp stomach pains. Headaches. Fatigue. And a fever.

So today, with my weigh-in later tonight, when I would normally be spending a lot of time exercising, I'm taking a break. I think I've lost weight this week anyway, so bringing some more water-weight off through exercise today isn't as important as healing.

Robert and I are thinking of going to see a movie today, and it would mean walking to and from the cinema. And our ride to our Slimming World group had to ancel, so we are walking there too. That'll be enough exercise for me today.

And Robert stayed up with our baby last night because the baby seems to have the same virus I have. He also got up with the kids this morning so I could lie in a bit.

I don't feel as awful today as I did yesterday and the day before, so hopefully this virus is on its way out.

Holiday Slump

I absolutely HATED going up in weight last week, especially two whole pounds, but it was that time of month and I always seem to go up during it. *sigh*

This week, it looks like I'll be having a loss at my weigh-in. I don't know yet if it will be the whole 2 pounds I went up or more or less.

I am so close to my target weight, and I really want to reach it by my birthday on February 27th, but it's going to be close. It doesn't help that between now and then I have to get through our New Year's celebration and dh's and my 8th anniversary celebration. We probably won't have any money left to go out with though; we rarely do since our anniversary falls right after Christmas and our oldest daughter's birthday (she turned 18 yesterday - Boxing Day). Cooking in should help keep it from causing too much problems with my weight loss.

I've been really, really tired lately, and I've been getting stomach aches and headaches for a few days now. I think I'm coming down with a virus. But the fatigue is what is really getting to me. I'm really having to push myself to do any of my exercise.

I can't take a break yet though; not so close to my goal weight and my birthday target for it! Tuesday is my normal day to take a break from exercising, so I'll rest up as much as I can this Tuesday and see if it helps.

Girls & Body Image

I'm trying so hard for my girls not to see me with a "diet mentality." But no matter what I do, they are imagining it anyway!

I still eat chocolate. I believe in allowing for treats, but limiting them, so that I don't feel deprived. And the kids have seen me eating chocolate and other treats.

Yet today, as I carved up some brownies to give to them, Gabby kept saying, "You can't have it, Mommy, because you're not allowed to have chocolate." I have never said anything like it around her. If I am not letting myself have a treat when everyone else is, I just say I will be having it later.

I want my girls to be confident about themselves and their bodies no matter what size they end up being, and I want them to have healthy attitudes towards food, not the messed up attitude I had for so many years.

It's such a difficult line to tread when you're trying to lose weight!

I'm trying to lead my daughters by example. I don't talk about my "diet." (I believe that diet is just a word, and one that refers to whatever food we happen to be eating, not any special "plan.") I talk about eating foods that will keep me healthy and strong.

I don't talk about my body in a negative way in front of my kids. How can I expect them to feel confident about their own bodies if I let them see me being insecure about my own?

I fit a reasonable amount of exercise into my day, and I eat large, healthy meals. I snack on fruits and vegetables. Occasionally, I even have chocolate, because I really, really enjoy eating chocolate. And when I have it, my kids see me eating it. They see me eating all kinds of food.

I don't center any occasions around food. Sometimes I provide snacks and meals for guest when we have visitors. Sometimes I just have drinks ready. I don't want the kids to think that every social occasion requires food to complete it.

There are other small things I do to try and lead by example. It doesn't always seem to be working though.

So hit me up in the comments with what you do to try and instill body image confidence in your kids and a healthy attitude towards food. And if you don't have kids, how would you do this if you did?

Mini Goals Revisited

I've spoken before about mini goals and how important they are in achieving weight loss when you have a lot of weight to lose. Weight loss mini goals can be anything from smaller amounts of weight to lose to non-scale victories like fitting into your wedding dress again.

Here are my weight lodd mini goals again, from the beginning of my journey until now.

May 12th Starting Weight: 272.5 Weight Now - 145

June 16th: 1st mini goal - 257.5 - 1st stone lost - REACHED (257)
June 30th: 2nd mini goal - 252.5 - 1st 20 lbs. lost - REACHED (252)
July 28th: 3rd mini goal - 245 - 10% body weight lost - REACHED (244.5)
July 28th: 4th mini goal - 244.5 - 2nd stone lost - REACHED (244.5)
Aug. 18th: 5th mini goal - 240 - Weight on wedding day - REACHED (238.5)
Sep. 29th: 6th mini goal - 234.5 - less than 100 pounds left to lose - REACHED (234)
Nov. 3rd: 7th mini goal - 230.5 - 3rd stone lost - REACHED (229)
Dec. 1st: 8th mini goal - 222.5 - 50 pounds lost - REACHED (220)
Dec. 1st: 9th mini goal - 220 - weight after Gabby's birth - REACHED (220)
Dec. 8th: 10th mini goal - 216.5 - 4th stone lost - REACHED (209.5)
Jan. 26th: 11th mini goal - 204 - 25% body weight lost - REACHED (203)
Feb. 2nd: 12th mini goal - 202.5 - 5th stone lost - REACHED (202)
Feb. 16th: 13th mini goal - 199.5 - ONEDERLAND!!!! - REACHED (199)
Mar. 16th: 14th mini goal - 190 - weight when met Robert - REACHED (190)
Mar. 30th: 15th mini goal - 188.5 - 6th stone lost - REACHED (188)
May 11th: 16th mini goal - 177 - weight after Kayla's birth & 35% body weight lost - REACHED (177)
May 18th: 17th mini goal - 174.5 - 7th stone lost - REACHED (174)
June 1st: 18th mini goal - 172.5 - 100 pounds lost!!! - REACHED (171)
June 29th: 19th mini goal - 166 - weight after Angelica's birth - REACHED (166)
July 27th: 20th mini goal - 160.5 - 8th stone lost - REACHED (160.5)
Oct. 19th: 21st mini goal - 155 - weight after Victoria's birth - REACHED (152.5)
Nov. 30th: 22nd mini goal - 148 - high weight in high school - REACHED (148)
Dec. 14th: 23rd mini goal - 146.5 - 9th stone lost - REACHED (145)
: 24th mini goal - 140 - average weight in high school -
: 25th mini goal - 137 - healthy BMI reached
: 26th mini goal - 136.25 - 50% body weight lost
: GOAL WEIGHT - 135 (9 stone 11.5 lbs. lost/9 stone 9 pounds weight reached) - healthy BMI of 24.7 -

27 mini goals altogether and I've already reached 23 of them!

If I can do it, so can you!

I Almost Passed Out!

My doctor thinks I might be anemic.

Yesterday, not feeling well, I walked the 3/4-mile to go pick Connor up from school while pushing Cameron in the stoller. We were out of diapers and formula, so, on the way home, I had to stop at the shops. My stomach kept cramping up badly, but I was doing okay, if moving a bit slowly. I got to the shops and went to the ATM to draw some money out. That's where everything went screwy on me.

Everything started to spin and go dark on me. I felt my legs giving way under me, but I fought it. (I had both small boys with me, so I COULD NOT pass out!) I grabbed onto the ledge at the bottom of the ATM machine to hold myself up thinking I just have to get home, then I can collapse. I turned around, leaning my back on the machine and gripping onto the stroller to hold myself up, but it was a losing battle. I couldn't see anything as everything was swirling around in front of me.

Some ladies walking towards me noticed something was wrong, asked if I was okay, and I answered "no." They helped me inside (one of the shop employees came out to help too, because I could barely stand up). One of them pushed the stroller inside and made sure Connor came in with us too. The must have gotten me a chair because, just as they let go of me and I thought I was falling, I felt a chair underneath me. I could feel sweat on my face and I was breathing hard, but I didn't feel like I was having any trouble breathing.

After about ten minutes or so of sitting, everything started to clear up. By then, the paramedics had arrived. They were going to call an ambulance, but I became steady enough to get up and walk again. Robert, because he's been home sick, came to the shops and brought our teenager who was also at home sick. She took the little ones and went to pick up my other two girls from their school. Robert stayed with me.

As my condition was improving, the paramedics agreed to let me go home. They drove me home, and did some more tests while I was there. Both at the shops and at home, my blood pressure was really, really low. Other than that, everything was fine. No fever. Blood sugars were normal and so on. They called and spoke to one of the doctors at my practice, and got me an appointment to be seen at 5:00pm (an hour later). I took a taxi there and back. My blood pressure had returned to a normal range, if still a tad on the low side. The doctor thinks I'm anemic, so I have to go in for more blood tests later this month.

Because my 1 year old and 3 year old were with me, that was one of the scariest moments I've been through. And it was so sudden!

I pretty much slept from getting home from the doctor appointment until about 6:30am this morning. Other than a splitting headache and the same tummy troubles, I feel okay today.

The doctor thiks it might be anemia. My husband thinks it might be a combination of the same illness he had and walking all the way to pick up Connor form school. A nurse friend of mine thinks I should also have my thyroid checked because losing a lot of weight can cauuse the thyroid to go into hyperdrive on rare occasions.

I just hope it never happens again!

Trying for 1 1/2 Pounds

My weigh-in is tonight. I was hoping to lose 1.5 pounds. I don't think I have. I should have, if clean eating and getting plenty of exercise were factors, but apparently, it wasn't enough this week. The good news is, I believe I have lost some weight, just not the amount I was hoping for. And I'm happy to have lost weight no matter what amount. I won't know the exact amount until I weigh-in tonight.

The reason I wanted to lose 1 1/2 pounds this week is because, here in England, a person's weight is measured in stone. And while I, being from California, still think in pounds, everyone here thinks in stone. A stone is 14 pounds. I have lost, in total, 126.5 pounds, which is 8 stone 12.5 pounds. So when I lose another 1.5 pounds, I will have reached 9 stone lost. I've been setting up each stone as another mini goal of mine.

And I really wanted to get to that mini goal today! As of yesterday, it looked like I would make it. But then my body's wildly swinging poundage went up overnight for no discernible reason. It happens. *shrug*

Whatever weight I've lost this week will just be another step towards that next mini goal, and I will get there next week. As long as I get there eventually, I'm happy enough taking my time.

And looking at the big picture, I am only 5'2" tall, and I used to weigh 272.5 pounds with a BMI around 50. I was morbidly obese, and that meant I was at risk of dying at any time. I now weigh only 148 pounds, and my BMI is around 27.1. I will get to a healthy BMI and a healthy weight very soon!

Still Losing!

I lost 2 pounds this week. I now have lost 124.5 pounds total, and I weigh 148 pounds. 148 was my average weight in high school!

I have 11 pounds left to lose until I reach a healthy BMI, and only 13 pounds left to lose until I reach my goal weight! Yay!

Robert lost 4.5 pounds this week! Wish I could have a week like that! I think it's great that he can still have weeks like that! He won this weeks Slimmer of the Week.

And it was Thanksgiving week, so I think we've both done really well. Eating healthy sure makes me feel better all around.