Maintenance Mode

As some of you, having read previous blog posts, know, I reached my target weight in February. Since then, I have been doing really well at maintaining my weight. But there is one thing I am still having to work on.

I can't seem to get my mind out of the "I need to lose weight" mentality. Gaining a pound here or there and then dropping back down only to go up and down again is NORMAL when maintaining. As long as my average weight stays the same, it should be okay and even expected. Slimming World allows for my weight to fluctuate up and down 3 pounds either way from my target weight, so I have SIX WHOLE POUNDS that I can play with.

And yet, I get upset when my weight fluctuates up even the tiniest bit, even when it is still a bit BELOW my target weight, as it is now. It's as if, having worked so hard to get here, I just can't let go and let myself relax about it all now. And yet, I NEED to relax. I need to get my mind into a place that can treat this whole thing as a part of my day to day life, rather than allowing for the stressful worrying about Monday's weigh-ins.

I still intend to GO to my Monday weigh-ins, as I see those weigh-ins as a way of keeping myself accountable and not letting any gains get out of hand. But I need to be able to relax a bit throughout the rest of the week.

I'm working on it.

Why?

Over on Jack Sh*t's blog, he posed a sort of challenge. He explained the reason for it as this:

The posts that I find the most interesting, the ones that I seem to get the most out of are the ones where the writer explores the why's of this whole deal: why did I get the way I was? why did I make the change? why is this time going to be different?

Everyone's got their own "how", but the "why's" always seem to be singular and unique.

So he posed the question:

I’ll say it to you: tell me “Why”…

Why do you suppose you let your life be less than you imagined it to be?

I like the way this question is phrased, because that is exactly what those of us who've let ourselves gain too much weight and become unhappy with our bodies and unhealthy have done to ourselves. We've "let" our body be less. When I was younger, I had never imagined myself as ever letting myself become as overweight as I eventually became.

And my answer has to be, "I don't know." I really don't. There are lots of reasons in my life that my weight may have crept up. My genetic make-up played a factor, surely, but it wasn't the only reason; in fact, it was probably only a tiny fraction of the reason. I struggled with my weight as a teenager, but only within a 20 pound range that I kept going up and back down within. It was nothing like the struggle and the weight gain I later suffered.

I know that when I was ten, my dad said offhandedly, "You're starting to look a little chubby." That was the first time I became aware of my weight. I was already 5'2" tall back then (and still am today), and I weighed around 115 pounds, so I definitely was NOT chubby in the slightest. But of course, I believed I was chubby from that point on. I'll never know what prompted my dad to say that. I love him dearly, but no parent is perfect, and I doubt he even remembers saying it.

Later, I married young (19), and I was very unhappy in my marriage. I was not treated with respect and my partner was usually angry. I believe that I began eating for comfort back then. The marriage didn't last long, and, three children later, we divorced. Life got better for me in some ways, but worse in others. I was a single parent and my finances were a constant struggle. On top of that, I returned to my university education. This brought new stress into my life, so food remained my way of comforting myself.

Eventually, I met the love of my life and remarried. Life was and is so much better for me, but the bad habits of eating junky, unhealthy food and eating too often, plus my occasional binge-eating was all too much for me to break away from. I was used to eating the way I did, so I continued eating the same way.

Why do you stumble so often despite all your good intentions?

Old habits are so hard to break, and sometimes the memory of a certain food that I used to love eating with abandon is almost too much to resist.

Why do you sabotage yourself?

There are days when I am tired and can't be bothered to do the right thing, to make the right choices. Maybe, in the past, it was because I lacked the confidence in myself that I could achieve a slimmer body and healthier lifestyle.

Why are you here anyway?

I have seven beautiful, amazing, intelligent, creative children and a wonderful husband. They love me, and because of their love and my love for them, I owe it to them to keep myself healthy and to prove to myself and to them that anything can be achieved with hard work.

If you’re making it, if you’re succeeding on this weight-loss journey, tell me why this time is different than all the others. Why are you going to make it this time when you’ve fallen short before. Why are you going to keep it off this time when you’ve gained it back before.

I'm not sure why this time is different. I've made it to my goal weight, and just the act of getting to this place has instilled a greater confidence in myself and my abilities. There was a time when I doubted I could lose the huge amount of weight I needed to lose, but now, almost 140 pounds lighter, I know that I am capable of amazing things. And I am not going to let go of that feeling, ever!

Why are you a different person now than you were before?

Pick one: confidence, belief in myself, a feeling of accomplishment. Somehow, the light finally went off in my head and I know that this healthier, slimmer me is the outside appearance of who I am on the inside, not the frumpy, overweight, lethargic person I used to be. I have a belief in my capabilities now when I used to always be filled with nothing but doubt. I've learned to tune out that doubtful, negative inner voice now, and I've started listening to the positive, cheerful, inspirational inner voice instead.

So, I hope that answering these questions posed by Jack Sh*t helps you feel like you know me just a tiny bit better than before you read my answers.

If there's anything else you'd like to know, feel free to ask me in the comments.

Happy Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day in the UK. Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers out there!

My 16 year old daughter decided she wanted me to get dressed up today and go to the park so she could take photos of me. I think it was just payback for all of the times I have made her and the other kids do the same!



I actually wore a red dress too. I rarely wear red because, in general, I don't think it is a good color with my red hair and freckles. But I think it looked okay this time. The wind was blowing my hair all over the place making it look really messy, and it was really, really cold. Not to mention I did not have a red bra to wear underneath, so my black bra showed up a bit. And yes, I am very, very pale.





Before all of that though, my younger kids woke me up in bed to bring me their gifts and cards and to bring me breakfast in bed (cereal). Gabby bought me a notebook with a matching pen. Isabella bought me a little figurine of a blonde girl which had a cute saying about mothers on it, and Connor bought me the same but the figurine was of a little boy. Victoria showed up with a tiny stuffed beanie Eeyore that was wearing a dinosaur costume. I got cards from everyone.

Not one person bought me chocolates. I wonder why that is. ;)

Actually, Connor made me a little paper purse at school that had two Thornton's chocolates in it. The problem with it was that he brought it home last Wednesday and, between Wednesday and today, he ate the chocolates.

So far, remaining at my goal weight has not been easy, but it's manageable. I'm still hoping for the day when it all comes more naturally to me.

Fairy Magic Photos Opportunity! Possible Freebie!

Fairy Magic Photos is giving a few people an opportunity that can't be beat! If you'd like a Fairy Magic Photo of your own, now is your chance as they are looking for 10 models for advertising. Please go to the discussion board at Fairy Magic Photos' Facebook page and let them know if you would like to be considered. Remember moms these pictures could be of your children. Or you could have a fairy photo created of you!

My husband is the artist that creates these photos, and when he decided to offer this chance, I had to share it with my readers, because these pictures are a $75 to $150 value! There are some conditions, but it's still a really great chance for a Fairy Magic photo of your own!

Photos From Our Visit At Slimming World Headquarters

Slimming World sent Robert and me a wonderful photo of the two of us from the finals for the Slimming World Couple Of The Year 2010 competition. We received the photo on Wednesday, and we received the jpeg image today, along with a picture of us with our consultant Sharon Painter and a photo of the winning couple.

I thought it would be fun to share our photos with you.



This is the winning couple:

I'd share their names and amount of weight loss with you, but I am having trouble finding anything about them on the web at the moment. Maybe Slimming World is waiting for the magazine featuring them to come out?

If my memory is correct, all of their children are grown and they were suffering with some very serious health issues before they lost the weight. And they had lost over 15 stone (over 154 lbs) together. They have really done well and should definitely be proud of their accomplishment!

Slimming World's Couple Of The Year 2010 Finals!

Robert and I just got back from Slimming World's Couple Of the Year semifinals. We sat in a group of 6 couples and all told our stories. There were three groups of six couples.

Six couples were chosen from those to go on to the finals. Robert and I made it to the finals. We didn't win. (Darn it!) But the woman in charge of today came over to us and told us how much she had wanted us to win too and that we were a VERY close second. She said it was extremely close.

The winners won £3,000 and an appearance on GMTV's morning show. They also will be doing other interviews and tv appearances throughout the year and will be featured in the Slimming World magazine. The couple who won had lost a combined weight of over 15 stone (over 210 lbs) together!

I wish we'd won (especially knowing how close it was), but it was still a really fun experience, and we heard lots of inspiring stories. We got to stay in a lovely hotel overnight, and we used their gym facilities to get in a really intense workout last night.

After taking a train ride to get there yesterday, our Slimming World consultant Sharon drove us home today after the event. And when we got home, our kids had surprised us by cleaning the house! They all said how proud of us they were despite our not having won.

Slimming World's Greatest Loser Competition

I won the Greatest Loser competion for my group again this year. I've still lost more weight than anyone else in our group. I even lost another half pound this week.

We just had a Bring & Try at our last meeting, so we were given the option of bringing food to share tonight or not. Most of the members of our group didn't want to do it again so soon. Helen, Sarah, Robert and I all made dishes to bring and shared them amongst the four of us. I made Mexican Pasta. Robert made High Fiber Scotch Eggs (with lean bacon mixed in). Sarah made quiche. And Helen made Cinnamon Raisin Muffins. All the food was delicious.

Even more fun than winning though: I wasn't sure if I had anything nice to wear that would fit, so I went into my 15 year old daughter's room and tried on one of her dresses. I'm wearing it in the photo!

Here are some photos of me taken tonight at the meeting.

I REACHED MY GOAL WEIGHT!!!!!!

I lost my last 1/2 lb this week to reach my goal weight! I now weigh 135 lbs (9 stone 9 lbs). With my starting weight of 272.5 lbs (19 stone 2 1/2 lbs), I've lost total of 137.5 lbs (9 stone 11 1/2 lbs)! I've officially lost more weight than I weigh! Woohoo!!!!!!!

Now on to maintenance!

I went to extremes with my eating and exercise in order to get the last (stubborn) ten pounds off (not recommended), so I'm expecting my weight to fluctuate up and down as I try to normalize my eating and exercise over the next few weeks, but as long as I stay within 3 pounds either way of my target weight, I'm still considered as being "in target" and don't have to pay for my Slimming World meetings.

I've also vowed to myself to no longer be ruled by the scale. I will now be judging my weight by how my clothes fit and how strong and healthy I feel.

This opens a whole new chapter for me in my health and fitness journey. I will be looking towards strengthening myself and toning myself now.

Am I worried that I'll put all my weight back on? Not really. I worry that I will put more weight back on than I want to, but I know I'll never let myself gain back too much of this weight or get anywhere near as heavy as I used to be. It feels too good to be at a healthy weight!

Fitting In Exercise With Family Life & Work (Guest Post)

I asked my husband Robert (photo above), who has lost over 84 pounds himself (6 stone), and only rarely uses my elliptical crosstrainer or Wii Fit, to explain how he fits exercise and fitness into his daily schedule with the responsibilities of work and family life. (For those of you who don't know, we have 7 kids.) You can see an occassional post by Robert on his family life blog, Baby Blues. (and pester him to post more on it, please) and you can see some of his wonderful photography at his photo gallery.

Lots of people ask how is it that I do all the exercise I do and fit it in with my work and family life as they do not have the time to apply the same effort that I do.

I have often thought on this and realised that two things help to free up so much more time for doing the healthy option and these are a family that usually works as a unit and simplifying my daily activities.

Becky asked if I would write a piece on fitting in exercise into my working day and I must admit it took a second or two to understand exactly what this meant as I always thought that in general it was the time I spent exercising away from work that was the most effective, so rather than a list of exercises and times achieved, I decided to write a diary entry for the typical day to day activities and healthy alternatives that I do to keep my weight down.

Six a.m. the alarm wakes me from my slumber, and I stumble out of bed to wake my 16 year old so she can take her dog out for a walk before getting ready for college. I pass my wife on her way to the Wii to do her early exercises as I hop back into bed for the next hour and snooze whilst listening to the local radio morning hosts go in about traffic problems and traffic jams. At around seven thirty my seven and four year olds jump on the bed beside me to do their daily reading, and then I rise for the second time to weigh and have breakfast.

Breakfast for me consists of high-fibre serial, additional powdered bran, sultanas, sliced banana and a fat free yogurt; I would put in more but as it already spills over the edge of the bowl it is kind of difficult to think how. This is then followed by two eggs on a slice of toast; the eggs can be scrambled, poached or, as long as it’s with a light oil spray, fried. If I am still hungry then I also have an apple or a low fat fibre bar.

By now Becky has fed and dressed the three little ones while I shower and shave having run up the stairs as I am behind the time as usual.

As I leave home to take the kids to school, I wave hello to my neighbours, who are fitting child seats and strapping kids into seats whilst throwing school bags into the backs of cars and driving off to drop the kids off, and I walk at my 4-year-old’s leisurely pace along the half mile pavement to her school where along the way I wave hi to my neighbours, who are parking cars on cluttered road sides, unpacking their kids from their cars and collecting bags from the back of their cars, and enter the school grounds where I drop off each off the little ones, checking that they are signed in, lunches placed on shelves and books put away. After I sit with my daughter and “Wow!” at her interesting colourings or chat with her teacher about after school clubs, I plug my headphones into my ears and walk the three miles to my office, having plenty of time to think about what the day may offer or issues to resolve, only stopping to wave to my neighbours who toot their frustration at the traffic jam they now sit in (obviously they didn’t get time to listen to the traffic reports this morning).

Arriving in the Town Centre, I pop into my local Starbucks, and I am greeted with the customary hello and beverage, an Americano venti with an additional shot, plus one on the house for that really great caffeine kick (I guess I come here far too often). As I walk into my building, I wave hello to my neighbours as they rush by from parking their cars on their way to work. I work on the fifth floor so I greet my colleagues in the elevator foyer and pass the time of day until the lift arrives. At this point, I take the stairwell and run up the stairs to the second floor where the delivery reception has our office milk supply, collect our two litres of milk and then run up the stairs to the fifth floor, slightly out of breath but concerned to hear from those arriving in one lift that the other has broken down again and Jinni or Jenny or Jimmy is going to be late as they are stuck in it.

The morning ritual of “check in” with my fellow colleagues now commences while we wait for our computers to grind their own morning rituals of updates and security policy checks and again remember which post-it note stuck on the monitors is our current password and then ring the helpdesk as after three different passwords we are locked out; my colleagues and I swap stories about their great nights out that in truth get a bit hazy after ten o’clock, and it takes several of their friends to fill in the blanks leaving them a little blushed.

Of course by now the customary cakes and biscuits now litter the tops of the stationary cupboards and post area tables. Not bad considering most of the people in my office are all on long term diets and cannot figure out why they don’t lose the weight, even though they spend three hours a week in the gym before they go out to get sloshed with their mates.

Hey you make your choices.....

After checking my e-mail I then go in my morning rounds of visiting the senior managers and directors to discuss their business whilst drinking tea and coffee, this done by walking from building to building and taking the stairs; the Council has many offices and buildings, and most of these are around the shopping plaza (pedestrians only) and about half a mile apart. There are a couple of sites that are a mile or two away but several cycle and footpaths connect them, and, as most people take the spider web routes by car, these tend to be pleasant walks where only the distant beeping of horns from traffic stuck in queues disturbs my journey.

As lunch time arrives, I pop into the local greengrocers or supermarket to purchase fruit for my mid-day snack and return from my walk carrying a couple of heavy bags up the stairs to my office where people marvel at my serving bowl of melon, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, banana and kiwi which is topped with a fat free chocolate yogurt and a sprinkling of high-fibre muesli and agree to me making them a small bowl too where, once they have eaten, proclaim themselves full and wonder how I can eat my very large bowl of the same stuff. “It’s all the exercise I do at night,” I proclaim as I bring out two large bowls of apples, pears, bananas, oranges, plums and peaches, one to share with the office and one for my desk, which I promptly start to munch my way through as I write up my business reports and e-mails for the day.

Pretty much the same goes on for the rest of the afternoon with meetings and typing, munching and drinking coffee and then often the running, yes the running, to and from the toilet ( I really drink too much coffee).

Often when inspiration is required, I will go for a walk around the offices of the block and jog up to the ninth floor and down to the third several times as I pop into the offices of my business support colleagues.

The day then comes to a close and as we all get up to go, turning our computers off in order to, as the poster says, save seventeen thousand cooked chickens a year or five microwave dinners from being unboxed and microwaved. (Who it is that does all this because I leave my computer on is a mystery and why they do it every night I do not know.) Actually as a “Green Champion” for the council most of my office friends have now been beaten (metaphorically speaking, well in most cases anyway) into keeping their computers switched off at night and the last one turns the light off, which our cleaner hates as it leaves him in the dark (not metaphorically speaking) but I do love saving those microwave meals from being cooked.

Well getting back to my day, about now I plug my headphones back in to my ears, turn up the music, tuck my hands into my pockets as it’s usually raining or cold, and start the three miles walk uphill to my home. This walk actually takes less time even though it’s uphill as the rewards at the end of this trip are far greater. In these winter evenings my street is so dark as I walk to my home as most of my neighbours are still in their cars heading home, but there is always a warm glow from our home and squeals of delight as I enter the home (from the children mostly).

In general, I walk over nine miles a day just going and returning to work. In most cases, I take no longer than my colleagues in getting from one meeting to another, although those pesky cyclists are beginning to show me a wonderful technological advancement called the bicycle that apparently will move me from one place to another in half the time; golly what next?

Keeping healthy and fit is very important to me at forty five as I love the time I get to spend with my family from the one year old through to the seventeen year old and of course my wife. Dieting is not starving yourself but eating smarter. Nature does not in general create waste so sticking to that simple premise I can eat as much of what I want, I just have to make sure I do not mix the wrong types of food together. Fruit and vegetables can be eaten by the casserole dish load and eggs are great as filler for those times I feel like I need a small snack. Pasta, rice, pulses all good and meat is great as long as I keep away from the fats. Steak and chips often appear on my daily menu, and Saturday I lose weight with sausage, bacon, eggs, beans, mushrooms, tomatoes and a slice of toast for lunch. All of this only works when supplementing an active life. The body will only convert all of this food to energy if you get off your butt and wiggle it.

Half The Woman I Used To Be!

I thought my chances at having large losses during the week were over, but this week I managed to lose four pounds! I needed 4 ½ pounds lost to reach my goal weight, and even though I didn’t get that extra half a pound, I feel really good about getting a four pound loss this week!

My weight had jumped up earlier in the week, and I was struggling to get it to come back down. Nothing I did seemed to be working. At one point, I became so frustrated about it, I prayed that God would just take the weight off of me. I’d been working so hard at it with very little result, and it just didn’t seem fair. I woke up the next morning with the extra weight almost completely gone.

I continued to exercise and eat healthy, and I hoped for the best. And I am really happy to say that I now weigh 135.5 pounds (9 stone 9 ½ pounds) now, and I am only half a pound away from my goal weight! I know I will get that half a pound off this week, and it means that I will reach my goal by the deadline I set for myself. I wanted to get to my goal weight by my birthday. My birthday is on February 27th, and the next weigh-in is on February 22nd.

I’ve now come down 8 dress sizes. I have lost more than 50% of my starting weight! I am finally in a healthy BMI for my height. I keep telling myself that, if I can do this, I can do anything. I have so many dreams that I want to make a reality, and I know I have the willpower to achieve them now! And I hope others who are struggling with their weight can look at the amount I’ve managed to lose and see that they can do it too.

Robert wrangled the “Slimmer of the Week” title off of me by managing to lose 4 ½ pounds this week. It also put him back in his target range (2 ½ pounds away from his target weight) which means, since he’s been “at target” before, he no longer has to pay at our Slimming World group meetings. (Once you hit your target, you can be three pounds below or three pounds above it without having to pay.) He’s hoping to get those last 2 ½ pounds off this coming week.

I’m just so excited about the idea of finally getting to my target weight! I am really looking forward to the next weigh-in now!

I knew this year was going to bring wonderful things!

The Difference Half A Pound Makes

I lost half a pound this week. A part of me was sad. I couldn’t help thinking that I had done an awful lot of work towards losing weight to only have lost half a pound. That same part of me was annoyed about only losing half a pound.

But then, another part of me realized what this half a pound meant. Last week, I weighed 140 pounds. In stone, the English way of weighing, I weighed 10 stone. This half a pound loss means that I am now in a new ten-pound bracket by now weighing 139 ½ pounds and I am in a new stone range by now weighing 9 stone 13 ½ pounds. It also got me a sticker in group for reaching another half pound lost. I’ve lost 9 ½ stone now (133 pounds).

Yes, only losing half a pound this week leaves me with more to lose by my birthday than I had hoped, but there is still a chance that I will reach my goal weight by my birthday. I have two weigh-ins before my birthday, and I need to lose 4 ½ pounds. If I don’t quite make it by then, my birthday falls closer to the meeting right after it, so I can try and get there by then.

Losing just half a pound can be depressing or it can be a blessing, depending on how I look at it. I’m choosing to look at it in a positive light.

Making Choices

If you’re struggling to lose weight or to maintain a healthy lifestyle, it’s important to think about your choices. Losing weight would be easy if making the right choices was easy. But too often, it’s easier to choose to eat what we want instead of what’s good for us and to choose to sit and watch tv instead of getting up and doing some exercise.

We make these little choices all the time, throughout the day, and though each choice made has a small impact, if we continually choose these things, they add up to having a big effect on our waistlines and health. Choosing the high-in-fat dessert once in a while won’t do any permanent damage to our health, but if we make these choices on a regular basis, the result can be harmful.

Sometimes, the easier choice doesn’t even feel like you’re making one. You just go on automatic and reach for something salty to munch when you’re bored. Or you get home from work, and tired from a busy day, plunk yourself down in front of the tv for a bit of relaxation.

But each thing you do in your life is a choice. You can choose to walk to the store instead of driving there. You can choose to take the stairs at work instead of the elevator. You can choose to grab an apple when you feel like munching something or to go for a run when you’re bored.

Think about the things you do and the choices you are making by doing them. Are those choices helping you make it to your goal or are they hurting your progress? How important is your goal to you? Is that slice of cake and the few moments of pleasure you get as you scarf it down more important to you than feeling healthy and fit or than getting to your goal weight?

Thinking about your choices, once you start to really do it, can lead to helping you in areas of your life other than just health, fitness and weight loss too. Do you really want to chat with friends on Facebook? Or would your time be better spent catching up on writing the novel you dreamed of writing or knitting the scarf you promised yourself you would knit? Does sitting in front of the tv or computer screen mean more to you than spending time playing with your kids?

It’s okay to choose to socialize on the computer, play video games and watch tv sometimes. It’s only when those choices start to take up more of your life and take away from other areas that you have to begin to make different choices. What are your goals? What is it you really want to achieve? If you know what your goals are, then the majority of the choices you make throughout your day should be ones that help you get closer to them.

Only 5 Pounds To Go!

At my weigh-in last monday night, I lost another one and a half pounds, so I am now only five pounds away from my goal weight, three pounds away from a healthy BMI and I have lost a total of 132.5 pounds.

It has become a real struggle to lose even the smallest amounts of weight and I am feeling conflicted. I told myself I was not going to crazy lengths to get this weight off ever again, but that feels like exactly what I am doing. Spending an hour on the elliptical crosstrainer at level 6 and above and an rpm of 10.5 to 11.5, then more than an hour on the Wii Fit, and then still doing an hour's walk with the dog later at night, and even sometimes throwing in 30 minutes exercising to my Tae Bo video, is going to extremes. I also don't think I am eating enough. This is not a pace that I can keep up and so it is not practical for a long-term solution.

The problem that I am facing is that I really, really do NOT want to gain any weight back right now, not when I am so close to my goal. But if I go back to my normal, more moderate exercise routine and eating more, my weight will go up. It won't be a permanent problem, as I am sure my weight will go back down again once it gets adjusted to the healthier regime again. But when I am so close to my goal, I really, really don't want to have to let it go up and then wait for it to come back down again. I'd rather get to my goal and then slowly return my routine back to normal, allowing for small, temporary gains in the interim.

I'm conflicted about this, but I shouldn't be. Good health is my ultimate goal, so it's pretty clear what I need to do.

Six Pounds Left

I lost one and a half pounds this week, so I have only six pounds left until I reach my goal weight. A part of me is thrilled that I am almost there, and a part of me is worried that it is going to be a real battle to lose these last six pounds.

There's another part of me that says to forget what the charts say a healthy BMI is and stick with the weight I'm at. Yes, there is still some extra chub left for me to lose around my belly area. But overall, I am looking pretty slender and fit now, and I feel healthier and stronger than I have in years.

I only have four pounds left to lose to reach a healthy BMI for my height according to the charts. The reason for the extra two pounds that I want to lose is just to give me some wiggle room for my weight to fluctuate and still stay in a healthy BMI.

But charts can be wrong. And then again, I know what weight I am comfortable at, and I am not quite there yet.

So I will keep plugging along, keeping myself fit and eating to lose weight until I can change to eating to maintain.

I am trying really hard NOT to focus on the numbers and just to focus on how healthy I feel, how strong I feel and how differently my clothes fit now.

Goodbye Plateau!

I lost 2.5 pounds this week! I have now lost a total of 130 pounds, and I only have 7.5 pounds left to lose until I reach my goal weight! I just have to make sure that I have an equally good week this week.

I'm really enjoying eating extra healthy meals and cooking up new dishes for us to try. I never got around to making the Spanish orange cake yesterday, so I might make it today for our dessert. Tonight I'm trying out a new recipe for meat loaf for our dinner. I've made meatloaf before but this one is from a recipe in my "World Of Flavours" cookbook.

I'll let you know what I think of it, and what the family thinks of it too!

I was procrastinating this morning. I did not feel like doing my cardio exercise today. I kept finding other things to do instead. I just felt so tired. I knew that I always felt good after I finished a workout, but it wasn't enough to push me into doing it.

Eventually, I got off of my sluggish-feeling, tired butt and got on the eliptical crosstrainer. I watched a show I'd missed this week while I got my exercise done, and guess what? I feel so much better now! And I feel like I have way more energy now too! Knowing this is always the result, why do I always find it so difficult to motivate myself to get up and do the exercise?

Planning Ahead & Doing Well

Planning is important when trying to lose weight. If you plan ahead what you are going to eat for the week, it is much easier to avoid those tempting moments when you are hungry, don't know what there is to eat and grab something unhealthy for a quick fix.

With that in mind, Robert and I did a lot of planning ahead for this week. We won the new Slimming World cookbook "A World Of Flavours" at the last Slimming World meeting, so we decided to cook from it this week. So far I have made us two things from the book.

The first recipe we tried was Baked Cannelloni (Italian). We had broccolli as a side dish and the meal was delicious! The recipe feeds four, so Robert, our two teenage daughters and I were all able to have it, and everyone enjoyed it. It was even enjoyable enough for my teenager Angelica that she was willing to eat spinach! (There was spinach in the recipe, and she normally won't eat anything with spinach in it, but she liked the cannelloni.)

Tonight we had Vegetable Lasagne (Italian). It was delicious too, and importantly, it got my teenage daughters eating vegetables without complaining about it! It was full of healthy vegetables like bell peppers, courgettes, onion, and aubergines.

Tomorrow we are having Falafels (Morrocan) and the Tomato & Courgette Flan (French). I'm preparing the mixture for the falafels tonight and cooking it tomorrow. If I have time, I will also be making us the Spanish Orange Cake.

Tuesday, we will be making New York-style Meatloaf (North American) and on Wednesday, we will be trying the Baked Gnocchi (Italian). I am really looking forward to trying all of these new dishes.

I will be adding all of these recipes to my recipe blog as we try them out, along with what we thought about them.

Next week, we might try some of the recipes from the sections for Greece, India, China and Thailand to add even more variety to our meals.

Robert and I have been very, very good this week with our eating and exercise. I've been on the elliptical crosstrainer many times this week, the Wii Fit (using handweights) many times this week, and we've gone on several long walks. We've stuck to the Slimming World plan all week and used very few of our allowed "syns."

I am very hopeful that this week I will finally get past this plateau I've been stuck on for five weeks. My weigh-in is tomorrow night. I'll have a good idea by morning whether or not I will have a successful weigh-in or not. I am probably going to be a little worried until then though, because for the past five weeks, being "good" with my diet and exercise hasn't given me any results. I'm just praying that adding a little extra exercise and getting more variety in my diet has helped.

Challenging The Plateau

I am so tired of fighting this weight! I've been stuck at the same weight for 5 weigh-ins (if you count the week I went up two only to follow by going down two the next week). And this week, my weight jumped up a little right after my weigh-in (as it usually does), but no matter how good I am being, it seems to want to stay up. I am doing more exercise (again, even though I told myself I would never over-exercise again). I am eating completely on plan with hardly any "syns" used at all. But it looks like I might continue at this weight for yet another weigh-in. (I'm really hoping this weekend shows my weight start to drop.)

I don't get it! I lost 127.5 pounds with a pretty steady amount of weekly loss, and yet once I reached the magic ten-pounds-left number, everything stopped, and even changing things up doesn't seem to be shifting it.

And the really frustrating part about this ten pounds hanging on is that I pay £4.75 a week for my weekly weigh-ins and group meetings at Slimming World, but once I reach my goal weight, I get to go for free. So not losing this last ten pounds is costing me money!

*sigh*

I know I should not focus so much on the weight, but it's just ten little pounds! I will not be beat by TEN FREAKIN' POUNDS!

I am stronger now, and that is a good thing. My BMI is probably better than my weight would suggest it is because I have added muscle to my body. My husband keeps referring to me as "tiny" and "petite" (which is music to a formerly morbidly obese person's ears). I have lots of energy too, which I did not have when I was seriously overweight. I can buy pretty clothes in a variety of styles IN MY SIZE, and they look GOOD on me now. I am still losing inches.

And yet that last ten pounds taunts me. I can hear it chanting, "Neener-neener-neener! You caaan't catch meeee!"

But, with my competitive streak in full force now, I know I will beat it. The thought that rises to my mind in response to its taunting is, "Wanna bet?"

Decadent Food

I had the silliest dream last night.

Before bed, Robert and I had been talking about our plan to eat really healthy this week. So of course, I dreamed that we were at a hotel and it was the next day, and there were master chefs there who kept giving us really decadent food. I knew we had completely sabotaged our diets, but the food was so good. I can even remember sampling a chocolate dessert and actually TASTING it in my dream. I was thinking how delicious it was and that I was going to eat it slowly and really savor it.

I woke up relieved that I hadn't really eaten all that food, but feeling as if I'd enjoyed it nonetheless.

Healthy Living Or Losing Weight?

Does it have to be a choice? I only have 10 pounds to reach my goal weight. Back before I'd lost the 127.5 pounds that I have lost, it was so much easier. Not only did the weight come off more easily and with smaller changes, but it was obvious that losing weight really was necessary for me to be healthier.

Now I'm only 8 pounds away from a healthy BMI. I've gone from weighing 272.5 pounds to weighing 145 pounds. It is obvious to anyone who looks at me that I am healthier now than I was. I have more energy. I'm stronger. There are a lot of benefits to being more concsious about the food that I am putting in my body and making sure I get enough exercise.

But do I need to lose more weight? My BMI would suggest I do. But what if, in order to lose that weight, I start restricting my calories more? Or maybe the only way to get that scale to come down fast enough for me is by exercising for several hours a day. Would reaching my goal weight in that way still make me healthier just because I could see the right number on the scale?

There comes a time when I have to just say that I am doing what I need to do to be healthy and the number on the scale will either show that or it won't. But it won't change my eating and exercise regime. I'm going to continue to do things in a way that is HEALTHY rather than in a way that will help me lose weight the quickest.

Patience is a virtue, after all.

When Healthy Living Means Losing Weight

I had a pretty good week. I walked loads this week, from 5 to 10 miles a day. I did a little bit of exercise on the Wii Fit Plus. I ate healthy, only succumbing to a few chocolates from the chocolate tins we were given at Christmas a few times this week.

And yet, the scale says I'm up. It's just a tiny bit up, not even half a pound really, but still up. I hate when this happens, but I also know that it's just part and parcel of this journey. The goal is to be healthier, not to lose as much weight as possible.

And yet, just 8 pounds away from finally reaching a healthy BMI, and just 10 pounds away from my goal weight, I find it a struggle to remind myself of this. I still want to see that number go down on the scale.

I know some people say it's better not to have the scale in the house at all, to just avoid weighing. Unfortunately, when I've tried that, I get lazy, and my weight starts creeping back up. For me, at the moment, the number on the scale is motivating. I'm working on getting away from that though, because I think this focus is counterproductive in my attempts to lead a healthy lifestyle.

I might come down half a pound or a pound before my weigh-in tonight, but I'm trying not to think about it.

Happy Once-In-A-Blue-Moon New Year!

This New Year's Eve had a blue moon. A blue moon only happens once every 2.75 years, but a blue moon falling on a New Year's Eve only happens once every 19 years. Even more unique, a blue moon only falls on a New Year's Eve at the turn of a decade once ever 410 years or so! So last night's blue moon was a once in a lifetime event!

I'd like to think that it means we are all going to have a wonderful year in 2010!

This year is going to be a fantastic year! Dreams will come true this year for most of us!

My dream of being a healthy weight is already coming true, and this year I will be hitting my goal weight. I intend to start focusing on some other goals that are also important to me, and I'm going to approach them the way I approached my weight loss, one step at a time. I will break my goals into mini goals which will consist of the different steps I need to take to achieve them and then I will work towards those mini goals, one at a time.

But since this is such a rare Blue Moon Year, I am challenging everyone to choose a goal that they previously believed to be out of reach for them and to take steps towards reaching it regardless. And to believe that they can actually attain it!

Have an "impossible" dream? This is the year to go for it!

Happy 2010!