I REACHED MY GOAL WEIGHT!!!!!!

I lost my last 1/2 lb this week to reach my goal weight! I now weigh 135 lbs (9 stone 9 lbs). With my starting weight of 272.5 lbs (19 stone 2 1/2 lbs), I've lost total of 137.5 lbs (9 stone 11 1/2 lbs)! I've officially lost more weight than I weigh! Woohoo!!!!!!!

Now on to maintenance!

I went to extremes with my eating and exercise in order to get the last (stubborn) ten pounds off (not recommended), so I'm expecting my weight to fluctuate up and down as I try to normalize my eating and exercise over the next few weeks, but as long as I stay within 3 pounds either way of my target weight, I'm still considered as being "in target" and don't have to pay for my Slimming World meetings.

I've also vowed to myself to no longer be ruled by the scale. I will now be judging my weight by how my clothes fit and how strong and healthy I feel.

This opens a whole new chapter for me in my health and fitness journey. I will be looking towards strengthening myself and toning myself now.

Am I worried that I'll put all my weight back on? Not really. I worry that I will put more weight back on than I want to, but I know I'll never let myself gain back too much of this weight or get anywhere near as heavy as I used to be. It feels too good to be at a healthy weight!

Fitting In Exercise With Family Life & Work (Guest Post)

I asked my husband Robert (photo above), who has lost over 84 pounds himself (6 stone), and only rarely uses my elliptical crosstrainer or Wii Fit, to explain how he fits exercise and fitness into his daily schedule with the responsibilities of work and family life. (For those of you who don't know, we have 7 kids.) You can see an occassional post by Robert on his family life blog, Baby Blues. (and pester him to post more on it, please) and you can see some of his wonderful photography at his photo gallery.

Lots of people ask how is it that I do all the exercise I do and fit it in with my work and family life as they do not have the time to apply the same effort that I do.

I have often thought on this and realised that two things help to free up so much more time for doing the healthy option and these are a family that usually works as a unit and simplifying my daily activities.

Becky asked if I would write a piece on fitting in exercise into my working day and I must admit it took a second or two to understand exactly what this meant as I always thought that in general it was the time I spent exercising away from work that was the most effective, so rather than a list of exercises and times achieved, I decided to write a diary entry for the typical day to day activities and healthy alternatives that I do to keep my weight down.

Six a.m. the alarm wakes me from my slumber, and I stumble out of bed to wake my 16 year old so she can take her dog out for a walk before getting ready for college. I pass my wife on her way to the Wii to do her early exercises as I hop back into bed for the next hour and snooze whilst listening to the local radio morning hosts go in about traffic problems and traffic jams. At around seven thirty my seven and four year olds jump on the bed beside me to do their daily reading, and then I rise for the second time to weigh and have breakfast.

Breakfast for me consists of high-fibre serial, additional powdered bran, sultanas, sliced banana and a fat free yogurt; I would put in more but as it already spills over the edge of the bowl it is kind of difficult to think how. This is then followed by two eggs on a slice of toast; the eggs can be scrambled, poached or, as long as it’s with a light oil spray, fried. If I am still hungry then I also have an apple or a low fat fibre bar.

By now Becky has fed and dressed the three little ones while I shower and shave having run up the stairs as I am behind the time as usual.

As I leave home to take the kids to school, I wave hello to my neighbours, who are fitting child seats and strapping kids into seats whilst throwing school bags into the backs of cars and driving off to drop the kids off, and I walk at my 4-year-old’s leisurely pace along the half mile pavement to her school where along the way I wave hi to my neighbours, who are parking cars on cluttered road sides, unpacking their kids from their cars and collecting bags from the back of their cars, and enter the school grounds where I drop off each off the little ones, checking that they are signed in, lunches placed on shelves and books put away. After I sit with my daughter and “Wow!” at her interesting colourings or chat with her teacher about after school clubs, I plug my headphones into my ears and walk the three miles to my office, having plenty of time to think about what the day may offer or issues to resolve, only stopping to wave to my neighbours who toot their frustration at the traffic jam they now sit in (obviously they didn’t get time to listen to the traffic reports this morning).

Arriving in the Town Centre, I pop into my local Starbucks, and I am greeted with the customary hello and beverage, an Americano venti with an additional shot, plus one on the house for that really great caffeine kick (I guess I come here far too often). As I walk into my building, I wave hello to my neighbours as they rush by from parking their cars on their way to work. I work on the fifth floor so I greet my colleagues in the elevator foyer and pass the time of day until the lift arrives. At this point, I take the stairwell and run up the stairs to the second floor where the delivery reception has our office milk supply, collect our two litres of milk and then run up the stairs to the fifth floor, slightly out of breath but concerned to hear from those arriving in one lift that the other has broken down again and Jinni or Jenny or Jimmy is going to be late as they are stuck in it.

The morning ritual of “check in” with my fellow colleagues now commences while we wait for our computers to grind their own morning rituals of updates and security policy checks and again remember which post-it note stuck on the monitors is our current password and then ring the helpdesk as after three different passwords we are locked out; my colleagues and I swap stories about their great nights out that in truth get a bit hazy after ten o’clock, and it takes several of their friends to fill in the blanks leaving them a little blushed.

Of course by now the customary cakes and biscuits now litter the tops of the stationary cupboards and post area tables. Not bad considering most of the people in my office are all on long term diets and cannot figure out why they don’t lose the weight, even though they spend three hours a week in the gym before they go out to get sloshed with their mates.

Hey you make your choices.....

After checking my e-mail I then go in my morning rounds of visiting the senior managers and directors to discuss their business whilst drinking tea and coffee, this done by walking from building to building and taking the stairs; the Council has many offices and buildings, and most of these are around the shopping plaza (pedestrians only) and about half a mile apart. There are a couple of sites that are a mile or two away but several cycle and footpaths connect them, and, as most people take the spider web routes by car, these tend to be pleasant walks where only the distant beeping of horns from traffic stuck in queues disturbs my journey.

As lunch time arrives, I pop into the local greengrocers or supermarket to purchase fruit for my mid-day snack and return from my walk carrying a couple of heavy bags up the stairs to my office where people marvel at my serving bowl of melon, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, banana and kiwi which is topped with a fat free chocolate yogurt and a sprinkling of high-fibre muesli and agree to me making them a small bowl too where, once they have eaten, proclaim themselves full and wonder how I can eat my very large bowl of the same stuff. “It’s all the exercise I do at night,” I proclaim as I bring out two large bowls of apples, pears, bananas, oranges, plums and peaches, one to share with the office and one for my desk, which I promptly start to munch my way through as I write up my business reports and e-mails for the day.

Pretty much the same goes on for the rest of the afternoon with meetings and typing, munching and drinking coffee and then often the running, yes the running, to and from the toilet ( I really drink too much coffee).

Often when inspiration is required, I will go for a walk around the offices of the block and jog up to the ninth floor and down to the third several times as I pop into the offices of my business support colleagues.

The day then comes to a close and as we all get up to go, turning our computers off in order to, as the poster says, save seventeen thousand cooked chickens a year or five microwave dinners from being unboxed and microwaved. (Who it is that does all this because I leave my computer on is a mystery and why they do it every night I do not know.) Actually as a “Green Champion” for the council most of my office friends have now been beaten (metaphorically speaking, well in most cases anyway) into keeping their computers switched off at night and the last one turns the light off, which our cleaner hates as it leaves him in the dark (not metaphorically speaking) but I do love saving those microwave meals from being cooked.

Well getting back to my day, about now I plug my headphones back in to my ears, turn up the music, tuck my hands into my pockets as it’s usually raining or cold, and start the three miles walk uphill to my home. This walk actually takes less time even though it’s uphill as the rewards at the end of this trip are far greater. In these winter evenings my street is so dark as I walk to my home as most of my neighbours are still in their cars heading home, but there is always a warm glow from our home and squeals of delight as I enter the home (from the children mostly).

In general, I walk over nine miles a day just going and returning to work. In most cases, I take no longer than my colleagues in getting from one meeting to another, although those pesky cyclists are beginning to show me a wonderful technological advancement called the bicycle that apparently will move me from one place to another in half the time; golly what next?

Keeping healthy and fit is very important to me at forty five as I love the time I get to spend with my family from the one year old through to the seventeen year old and of course my wife. Dieting is not starving yourself but eating smarter. Nature does not in general create waste so sticking to that simple premise I can eat as much of what I want, I just have to make sure I do not mix the wrong types of food together. Fruit and vegetables can be eaten by the casserole dish load and eggs are great as filler for those times I feel like I need a small snack. Pasta, rice, pulses all good and meat is great as long as I keep away from the fats. Steak and chips often appear on my daily menu, and Saturday I lose weight with sausage, bacon, eggs, beans, mushrooms, tomatoes and a slice of toast for lunch. All of this only works when supplementing an active life. The body will only convert all of this food to energy if you get off your butt and wiggle it.

Half The Woman I Used To Be!

I thought my chances at having large losses during the week were over, but this week I managed to lose four pounds! I needed 4 ½ pounds lost to reach my goal weight, and even though I didn’t get that extra half a pound, I feel really good about getting a four pound loss this week!

My weight had jumped up earlier in the week, and I was struggling to get it to come back down. Nothing I did seemed to be working. At one point, I became so frustrated about it, I prayed that God would just take the weight off of me. I’d been working so hard at it with very little result, and it just didn’t seem fair. I woke up the next morning with the extra weight almost completely gone.

I continued to exercise and eat healthy, and I hoped for the best. And I am really happy to say that I now weigh 135.5 pounds (9 stone 9 ½ pounds) now, and I am only half a pound away from my goal weight! I know I will get that half a pound off this week, and it means that I will reach my goal by the deadline I set for myself. I wanted to get to my goal weight by my birthday. My birthday is on February 27th, and the next weigh-in is on February 22nd.

I’ve now come down 8 dress sizes. I have lost more than 50% of my starting weight! I am finally in a healthy BMI for my height. I keep telling myself that, if I can do this, I can do anything. I have so many dreams that I want to make a reality, and I know I have the willpower to achieve them now! And I hope others who are struggling with their weight can look at the amount I’ve managed to lose and see that they can do it too.

Robert wrangled the “Slimmer of the Week” title off of me by managing to lose 4 ½ pounds this week. It also put him back in his target range (2 ½ pounds away from his target weight) which means, since he’s been “at target” before, he no longer has to pay at our Slimming World group meetings. (Once you hit your target, you can be three pounds below or three pounds above it without having to pay.) He’s hoping to get those last 2 ½ pounds off this coming week.

I’m just so excited about the idea of finally getting to my target weight! I am really looking forward to the next weigh-in now!

I knew this year was going to bring wonderful things!

The Difference Half A Pound Makes

I lost half a pound this week. A part of me was sad. I couldn’t help thinking that I had done an awful lot of work towards losing weight to only have lost half a pound. That same part of me was annoyed about only losing half a pound.

But then, another part of me realized what this half a pound meant. Last week, I weighed 140 pounds. In stone, the English way of weighing, I weighed 10 stone. This half a pound loss means that I am now in a new ten-pound bracket by now weighing 139 ½ pounds and I am in a new stone range by now weighing 9 stone 13 ½ pounds. It also got me a sticker in group for reaching another half pound lost. I’ve lost 9 ½ stone now (133 pounds).

Yes, only losing half a pound this week leaves me with more to lose by my birthday than I had hoped, but there is still a chance that I will reach my goal weight by my birthday. I have two weigh-ins before my birthday, and I need to lose 4 ½ pounds. If I don’t quite make it by then, my birthday falls closer to the meeting right after it, so I can try and get there by then.

Losing just half a pound can be depressing or it can be a blessing, depending on how I look at it. I’m choosing to look at it in a positive light.

Making Choices

If you’re struggling to lose weight or to maintain a healthy lifestyle, it’s important to think about your choices. Losing weight would be easy if making the right choices was easy. But too often, it’s easier to choose to eat what we want instead of what’s good for us and to choose to sit and watch tv instead of getting up and doing some exercise.

We make these little choices all the time, throughout the day, and though each choice made has a small impact, if we continually choose these things, they add up to having a big effect on our waistlines and health. Choosing the high-in-fat dessert once in a while won’t do any permanent damage to our health, but if we make these choices on a regular basis, the result can be harmful.

Sometimes, the easier choice doesn’t even feel like you’re making one. You just go on automatic and reach for something salty to munch when you’re bored. Or you get home from work, and tired from a busy day, plunk yourself down in front of the tv for a bit of relaxation.

But each thing you do in your life is a choice. You can choose to walk to the store instead of driving there. You can choose to take the stairs at work instead of the elevator. You can choose to grab an apple when you feel like munching something or to go for a run when you’re bored.

Think about the things you do and the choices you are making by doing them. Are those choices helping you make it to your goal or are they hurting your progress? How important is your goal to you? Is that slice of cake and the few moments of pleasure you get as you scarf it down more important to you than feeling healthy and fit or than getting to your goal weight?

Thinking about your choices, once you start to really do it, can lead to helping you in areas of your life other than just health, fitness and weight loss too. Do you really want to chat with friends on Facebook? Or would your time be better spent catching up on writing the novel you dreamed of writing or knitting the scarf you promised yourself you would knit? Does sitting in front of the tv or computer screen mean more to you than spending time playing with your kids?

It’s okay to choose to socialize on the computer, play video games and watch tv sometimes. It’s only when those choices start to take up more of your life and take away from other areas that you have to begin to make different choices. What are your goals? What is it you really want to achieve? If you know what your goals are, then the majority of the choices you make throughout your day should be ones that help you get closer to them.

Only 5 Pounds To Go!

At my weigh-in last monday night, I lost another one and a half pounds, so I am now only five pounds away from my goal weight, three pounds away from a healthy BMI and I have lost a total of 132.5 pounds.

It has become a real struggle to lose even the smallest amounts of weight and I am feeling conflicted. I told myself I was not going to crazy lengths to get this weight off ever again, but that feels like exactly what I am doing. Spending an hour on the elliptical crosstrainer at level 6 and above and an rpm of 10.5 to 11.5, then more than an hour on the Wii Fit, and then still doing an hour's walk with the dog later at night, and even sometimes throwing in 30 minutes exercising to my Tae Bo video, is going to extremes. I also don't think I am eating enough. This is not a pace that I can keep up and so it is not practical for a long-term solution.

The problem that I am facing is that I really, really do NOT want to gain any weight back right now, not when I am so close to my goal. But if I go back to my normal, more moderate exercise routine and eating more, my weight will go up. It won't be a permanent problem, as I am sure my weight will go back down again once it gets adjusted to the healthier regime again. But when I am so close to my goal, I really, really don't want to have to let it go up and then wait for it to come back down again. I'd rather get to my goal and then slowly return my routine back to normal, allowing for small, temporary gains in the interim.

I'm conflicted about this, but I shouldn't be. Good health is my ultimate goal, so it's pretty clear what I need to do.

Six Pounds Left

I lost one and a half pounds this week, so I have only six pounds left until I reach my goal weight. A part of me is thrilled that I am almost there, and a part of me is worried that it is going to be a real battle to lose these last six pounds.

There's another part of me that says to forget what the charts say a healthy BMI is and stick with the weight I'm at. Yes, there is still some extra chub left for me to lose around my belly area. But overall, I am looking pretty slender and fit now, and I feel healthier and stronger than I have in years.

I only have four pounds left to lose to reach a healthy BMI for my height according to the charts. The reason for the extra two pounds that I want to lose is just to give me some wiggle room for my weight to fluctuate and still stay in a healthy BMI.

But charts can be wrong. And then again, I know what weight I am comfortable at, and I am not quite there yet.

So I will keep plugging along, keeping myself fit and eating to lose weight until I can change to eating to maintain.

I am trying really hard NOT to focus on the numbers and just to focus on how healthy I feel, how strong I feel and how differently my clothes fit now.

Goodbye Plateau!

I lost 2.5 pounds this week! I have now lost a total of 130 pounds, and I only have 7.5 pounds left to lose until I reach my goal weight! I just have to make sure that I have an equally good week this week.

I'm really enjoying eating extra healthy meals and cooking up new dishes for us to try. I never got around to making the Spanish orange cake yesterday, so I might make it today for our dessert. Tonight I'm trying out a new recipe for meat loaf for our dinner. I've made meatloaf before but this one is from a recipe in my "World Of Flavours" cookbook.

I'll let you know what I think of it, and what the family thinks of it too!

I was procrastinating this morning. I did not feel like doing my cardio exercise today. I kept finding other things to do instead. I just felt so tired. I knew that I always felt good after I finished a workout, but it wasn't enough to push me into doing it.

Eventually, I got off of my sluggish-feeling, tired butt and got on the eliptical crosstrainer. I watched a show I'd missed this week while I got my exercise done, and guess what? I feel so much better now! And I feel like I have way more energy now too! Knowing this is always the result, why do I always find it so difficult to motivate myself to get up and do the exercise?

Planning Ahead & Doing Well

Planning is important when trying to lose weight. If you plan ahead what you are going to eat for the week, it is much easier to avoid those tempting moments when you are hungry, don't know what there is to eat and grab something unhealthy for a quick fix.

With that in mind, Robert and I did a lot of planning ahead for this week. We won the new Slimming World cookbook "A World Of Flavours" at the last Slimming World meeting, so we decided to cook from it this week. So far I have made us two things from the book.

The first recipe we tried was Baked Cannelloni (Italian). We had broccolli as a side dish and the meal was delicious! The recipe feeds four, so Robert, our two teenage daughters and I were all able to have it, and everyone enjoyed it. It was even enjoyable enough for my teenager Angelica that she was willing to eat spinach! (There was spinach in the recipe, and she normally won't eat anything with spinach in it, but she liked the cannelloni.)

Tonight we had Vegetable Lasagne (Italian). It was delicious too, and importantly, it got my teenage daughters eating vegetables without complaining about it! It was full of healthy vegetables like bell peppers, courgettes, onion, and aubergines.

Tomorrow we are having Falafels (Morrocan) and the Tomato & Courgette Flan (French). I'm preparing the mixture for the falafels tonight and cooking it tomorrow. If I have time, I will also be making us the Spanish Orange Cake.

Tuesday, we will be making New York-style Meatloaf (North American) and on Wednesday, we will be trying the Baked Gnocchi (Italian). I am really looking forward to trying all of these new dishes.

I will be adding all of these recipes to my recipe blog as we try them out, along with what we thought about them.

Next week, we might try some of the recipes from the sections for Greece, India, China and Thailand to add even more variety to our meals.

Robert and I have been very, very good this week with our eating and exercise. I've been on the elliptical crosstrainer many times this week, the Wii Fit (using handweights) many times this week, and we've gone on several long walks. We've stuck to the Slimming World plan all week and used very few of our allowed "syns."

I am very hopeful that this week I will finally get past this plateau I've been stuck on for five weeks. My weigh-in is tomorrow night. I'll have a good idea by morning whether or not I will have a successful weigh-in or not. I am probably going to be a little worried until then though, because for the past five weeks, being "good" with my diet and exercise hasn't given me any results. I'm just praying that adding a little extra exercise and getting more variety in my diet has helped.

Challenging The Plateau

I am so tired of fighting this weight! I've been stuck at the same weight for 5 weigh-ins (if you count the week I went up two only to follow by going down two the next week). And this week, my weight jumped up a little right after my weigh-in (as it usually does), but no matter how good I am being, it seems to want to stay up. I am doing more exercise (again, even though I told myself I would never over-exercise again). I am eating completely on plan with hardly any "syns" used at all. But it looks like I might continue at this weight for yet another weigh-in. (I'm really hoping this weekend shows my weight start to drop.)

I don't get it! I lost 127.5 pounds with a pretty steady amount of weekly loss, and yet once I reached the magic ten-pounds-left number, everything stopped, and even changing things up doesn't seem to be shifting it.

And the really frustrating part about this ten pounds hanging on is that I pay £4.75 a week for my weekly weigh-ins and group meetings at Slimming World, but once I reach my goal weight, I get to go for free. So not losing this last ten pounds is costing me money!

*sigh*

I know I should not focus so much on the weight, but it's just ten little pounds! I will not be beat by TEN FREAKIN' POUNDS!

I am stronger now, and that is a good thing. My BMI is probably better than my weight would suggest it is because I have added muscle to my body. My husband keeps referring to me as "tiny" and "petite" (which is music to a formerly morbidly obese person's ears). I have lots of energy too, which I did not have when I was seriously overweight. I can buy pretty clothes in a variety of styles IN MY SIZE, and they look GOOD on me now. I am still losing inches.

And yet that last ten pounds taunts me. I can hear it chanting, "Neener-neener-neener! You caaan't catch meeee!"

But, with my competitive streak in full force now, I know I will beat it. The thought that rises to my mind in response to its taunting is, "Wanna bet?"

Decadent Food

I had the silliest dream last night.

Before bed, Robert and I had been talking about our plan to eat really healthy this week. So of course, I dreamed that we were at a hotel and it was the next day, and there were master chefs there who kept giving us really decadent food. I knew we had completely sabotaged our diets, but the food was so good. I can even remember sampling a chocolate dessert and actually TASTING it in my dream. I was thinking how delicious it was and that I was going to eat it slowly and really savor it.

I woke up relieved that I hadn't really eaten all that food, but feeling as if I'd enjoyed it nonetheless.

Healthy Living Or Losing Weight?

Does it have to be a choice? I only have 10 pounds to reach my goal weight. Back before I'd lost the 127.5 pounds that I have lost, it was so much easier. Not only did the weight come off more easily and with smaller changes, but it was obvious that losing weight really was necessary for me to be healthier.

Now I'm only 8 pounds away from a healthy BMI. I've gone from weighing 272.5 pounds to weighing 145 pounds. It is obvious to anyone who looks at me that I am healthier now than I was. I have more energy. I'm stronger. There are a lot of benefits to being more concsious about the food that I am putting in my body and making sure I get enough exercise.

But do I need to lose more weight? My BMI would suggest I do. But what if, in order to lose that weight, I start restricting my calories more? Or maybe the only way to get that scale to come down fast enough for me is by exercising for several hours a day. Would reaching my goal weight in that way still make me healthier just because I could see the right number on the scale?

There comes a time when I have to just say that I am doing what I need to do to be healthy and the number on the scale will either show that or it won't. But it won't change my eating and exercise regime. I'm going to continue to do things in a way that is HEALTHY rather than in a way that will help me lose weight the quickest.

Patience is a virtue, after all.

When Healthy Living Means Losing Weight

I had a pretty good week. I walked loads this week, from 5 to 10 miles a day. I did a little bit of exercise on the Wii Fit Plus. I ate healthy, only succumbing to a few chocolates from the chocolate tins we were given at Christmas a few times this week.

And yet, the scale says I'm up. It's just a tiny bit up, not even half a pound really, but still up. I hate when this happens, but I also know that it's just part and parcel of this journey. The goal is to be healthier, not to lose as much weight as possible.

And yet, just 8 pounds away from finally reaching a healthy BMI, and just 10 pounds away from my goal weight, I find it a struggle to remind myself of this. I still want to see that number go down on the scale.

I know some people say it's better not to have the scale in the house at all, to just avoid weighing. Unfortunately, when I've tried that, I get lazy, and my weight starts creeping back up. For me, at the moment, the number on the scale is motivating. I'm working on getting away from that though, because I think this focus is counterproductive in my attempts to lead a healthy lifestyle.

I might come down half a pound or a pound before my weigh-in tonight, but I'm trying not to think about it.

Happy Once-In-A-Blue-Moon New Year!

This New Year's Eve had a blue moon. A blue moon only happens once every 2.75 years, but a blue moon falling on a New Year's Eve only happens once every 19 years. Even more unique, a blue moon only falls on a New Year's Eve at the turn of a decade once ever 410 years or so! So last night's blue moon was a once in a lifetime event!

I'd like to think that it means we are all going to have a wonderful year in 2010!

This year is going to be a fantastic year! Dreams will come true this year for most of us!

My dream of being a healthy weight is already coming true, and this year I will be hitting my goal weight. I intend to start focusing on some other goals that are also important to me, and I'm going to approach them the way I approached my weight loss, one step at a time. I will break my goals into mini goals which will consist of the different steps I need to take to achieve them and then I will work towards those mini goals, one at a time.

But since this is such a rare Blue Moon Year, I am challenging everyone to choose a goal that they previously believed to be out of reach for them and to take steps towards reaching it regardless. And to believe that they can actually attain it!

Have an "impossible" dream? This is the year to go for it!

Happy 2010!

Sick

I said in my last post that I thought I was coming down with some sort of virus. The fever I developed yesterday confirmed it.

Sharp stomach pains. Headaches. Fatigue. And a fever.

So today, with my weigh-in later tonight, when I would normally be spending a lot of time exercising, I'm taking a break. I think I've lost weight this week anyway, so bringing some more water-weight off through exercise today isn't as important as healing.

Robert and I are thinking of going to see a movie today, and it would mean walking to and from the cinema. And our ride to our Slimming World group had to ancel, so we are walking there too. That'll be enough exercise for me today.

And Robert stayed up with our baby last night because the baby seems to have the same virus I have. He also got up with the kids this morning so I could lie in a bit.

I don't feel as awful today as I did yesterday and the day before, so hopefully this virus is on its way out.

Holiday Slump

I absolutely HATED going up in weight last week, especially two whole pounds, but it was that time of month and I always seem to go up during it. *sigh*

This week, it looks like I'll be having a loss at my weigh-in. I don't know yet if it will be the whole 2 pounds I went up or more or less.

I am so close to my target weight, and I really want to reach it by my birthday on February 27th, but it's going to be close. It doesn't help that between now and then I have to get through our New Year's celebration and dh's and my 8th anniversary celebration. We probably won't have any money left to go out with though; we rarely do since our anniversary falls right after Christmas and our oldest daughter's birthday (she turned 18 yesterday - Boxing Day). Cooking in should help keep it from causing too much problems with my weight loss.

I've been really, really tired lately, and I've been getting stomach aches and headaches for a few days now. I think I'm coming down with a virus. But the fatigue is what is really getting to me. I'm really having to push myself to do any of my exercise.

I can't take a break yet though; not so close to my goal weight and my birthday target for it! Tuesday is my normal day to take a break from exercising, so I'll rest up as much as I can this Tuesday and see if it helps.

Girls & Body Image

I'm trying so hard for my girls not to see me with a "diet mentality." But no matter what I do, they are imagining it anyway!

I still eat chocolate. I believe in allowing for treats, but limiting them, so that I don't feel deprived. And the kids have seen me eating chocolate and other treats.

Yet today, as I carved up some brownies to give to them, Gabby kept saying, "You can't have it, Mommy, because you're not allowed to have chocolate." I have never said anything like it around her. If I am not letting myself have a treat when everyone else is, I just say I will be having it later.

I want my girls to be confident about themselves and their bodies no matter what size they end up being, and I want them to have healthy attitudes towards food, not the messed up attitude I had for so many years.

It's such a difficult line to tread when you're trying to lose weight!

I'm trying to lead my daughters by example. I don't talk about my "diet." (I believe that diet is just a word, and one that refers to whatever food we happen to be eating, not any special "plan.") I talk about eating foods that will keep me healthy and strong.

I don't talk about my body in a negative way in front of my kids. How can I expect them to feel confident about their own bodies if I let them see me being insecure about my own?

I fit a reasonable amount of exercise into my day, and I eat large, healthy meals. I snack on fruits and vegetables. Occasionally, I even have chocolate, because I really, really enjoy eating chocolate. And when I have it, my kids see me eating it. They see me eating all kinds of food.

I don't center any occasions around food. Sometimes I provide snacks and meals for guest when we have visitors. Sometimes I just have drinks ready. I don't want the kids to think that every social occasion requires food to complete it.

There are other small things I do to try and lead by example. It doesn't always seem to be working though.

So hit me up in the comments with what you do to try and instill body image confidence in your kids and a healthy attitude towards food. And if you don't have kids, how would you do this if you did?

Mini Goals Revisited

I've spoken before about mini goals and how important they are in achieving weight loss when you have a lot of weight to lose. Weight loss mini goals can be anything from smaller amounts of weight to lose to non-scale victories like fitting into your wedding dress again.

Here are my weight lodd mini goals again, from the beginning of my journey until now.

May 12th Starting Weight: 272.5 Weight Now - 145

June 16th: 1st mini goal - 257.5 - 1st stone lost - REACHED (257)
June 30th: 2nd mini goal - 252.5 - 1st 20 lbs. lost - REACHED (252)
July 28th: 3rd mini goal - 245 - 10% body weight lost - REACHED (244.5)
July 28th: 4th mini goal - 244.5 - 2nd stone lost - REACHED (244.5)
Aug. 18th: 5th mini goal - 240 - Weight on wedding day - REACHED (238.5)
Sep. 29th: 6th mini goal - 234.5 - less than 100 pounds left to lose - REACHED (234)
Nov. 3rd: 7th mini goal - 230.5 - 3rd stone lost - REACHED (229)
Dec. 1st: 8th mini goal - 222.5 - 50 pounds lost - REACHED (220)
Dec. 1st: 9th mini goal - 220 - weight after Gabby's birth - REACHED (220)
Dec. 8th: 10th mini goal - 216.5 - 4th stone lost - REACHED (209.5)
Jan. 26th: 11th mini goal - 204 - 25% body weight lost - REACHED (203)
Feb. 2nd: 12th mini goal - 202.5 - 5th stone lost - REACHED (202)
Feb. 16th: 13th mini goal - 199.5 - ONEDERLAND!!!! - REACHED (199)
Mar. 16th: 14th mini goal - 190 - weight when met Robert - REACHED (190)
Mar. 30th: 15th mini goal - 188.5 - 6th stone lost - REACHED (188)
May 11th: 16th mini goal - 177 - weight after Kayla's birth & 35% body weight lost - REACHED (177)
May 18th: 17th mini goal - 174.5 - 7th stone lost - REACHED (174)
June 1st: 18th mini goal - 172.5 - 100 pounds lost!!! - REACHED (171)
June 29th: 19th mini goal - 166 - weight after Angelica's birth - REACHED (166)
July 27th: 20th mini goal - 160.5 - 8th stone lost - REACHED (160.5)
Oct. 19th: 21st mini goal - 155 - weight after Victoria's birth - REACHED (152.5)
Nov. 30th: 22nd mini goal - 148 - high weight in high school - REACHED (148)
Dec. 14th: 23rd mini goal - 146.5 - 9th stone lost - REACHED (145)
: 24th mini goal - 140 - average weight in high school -
: 25th mini goal - 137 - healthy BMI reached
: 26th mini goal - 136.25 - 50% body weight lost
: GOAL WEIGHT - 135 (9 stone 11.5 lbs. lost/9 stone 9 pounds weight reached) - healthy BMI of 24.7 -

27 mini goals altogether and I've already reached 23 of them!

If I can do it, so can you!

I Almost Passed Out!

My doctor thinks I might be anemic.

Yesterday, not feeling well, I walked the 3/4-mile to go pick Connor up from school while pushing Cameron in the stoller. We were out of diapers and formula, so, on the way home, I had to stop at the shops. My stomach kept cramping up badly, but I was doing okay, if moving a bit slowly. I got to the shops and went to the ATM to draw some money out. That's where everything went screwy on me.

Everything started to spin and go dark on me. I felt my legs giving way under me, but I fought it. (I had both small boys with me, so I COULD NOT pass out!) I grabbed onto the ledge at the bottom of the ATM machine to hold myself up thinking I just have to get home, then I can collapse. I turned around, leaning my back on the machine and gripping onto the stroller to hold myself up, but it was a losing battle. I couldn't see anything as everything was swirling around in front of me.

Some ladies walking towards me noticed something was wrong, asked if I was okay, and I answered "no." They helped me inside (one of the shop employees came out to help too, because I could barely stand up). One of them pushed the stroller inside and made sure Connor came in with us too. The must have gotten me a chair because, just as they let go of me and I thought I was falling, I felt a chair underneath me. I could feel sweat on my face and I was breathing hard, but I didn't feel like I was having any trouble breathing.

After about ten minutes or so of sitting, everything started to clear up. By then, the paramedics had arrived. They were going to call an ambulance, but I became steady enough to get up and walk again. Robert, because he's been home sick, came to the shops and brought our teenager who was also at home sick. She took the little ones and went to pick up my other two girls from their school. Robert stayed with me.

As my condition was improving, the paramedics agreed to let me go home. They drove me home, and did some more tests while I was there. Both at the shops and at home, my blood pressure was really, really low. Other than that, everything was fine. No fever. Blood sugars were normal and so on. They called and spoke to one of the doctors at my practice, and got me an appointment to be seen at 5:00pm (an hour later). I took a taxi there and back. My blood pressure had returned to a normal range, if still a tad on the low side. The doctor thinks I'm anemic, so I have to go in for more blood tests later this month.

Because my 1 year old and 3 year old were with me, that was one of the scariest moments I've been through. And it was so sudden!

I pretty much slept from getting home from the doctor appointment until about 6:30am this morning. Other than a splitting headache and the same tummy troubles, I feel okay today.

The doctor thiks it might be anemia. My husband thinks it might be a combination of the same illness he had and walking all the way to pick up Connor form school. A nurse friend of mine thinks I should also have my thyroid checked because losing a lot of weight can cauuse the thyroid to go into hyperdrive on rare occasions.

I just hope it never happens again!

Trying for 1 1/2 Pounds

My weigh-in is tonight. I was hoping to lose 1.5 pounds. I don't think I have. I should have, if clean eating and getting plenty of exercise were factors, but apparently, it wasn't enough this week. The good news is, I believe I have lost some weight, just not the amount I was hoping for. And I'm happy to have lost weight no matter what amount. I won't know the exact amount until I weigh-in tonight.

The reason I wanted to lose 1 1/2 pounds this week is because, here in England, a person's weight is measured in stone. And while I, being from California, still think in pounds, everyone here thinks in stone. A stone is 14 pounds. I have lost, in total, 126.5 pounds, which is 8 stone 12.5 pounds. So when I lose another 1.5 pounds, I will have reached 9 stone lost. I've been setting up each stone as another mini goal of mine.

And I really wanted to get to that mini goal today! As of yesterday, it looked like I would make it. But then my body's wildly swinging poundage went up overnight for no discernible reason. It happens. *shrug*

Whatever weight I've lost this week will just be another step towards that next mini goal, and I will get there next week. As long as I get there eventually, I'm happy enough taking my time.

And looking at the big picture, I am only 5'2" tall, and I used to weigh 272.5 pounds with a BMI around 50. I was morbidly obese, and that meant I was at risk of dying at any time. I now weigh only 148 pounds, and my BMI is around 27.1. I will get to a healthy BMI and a healthy weight very soon!

Still Losing!

I lost 2 pounds this week. I now have lost 124.5 pounds total, and I weigh 148 pounds. 148 was my average weight in high school!

I have 11 pounds left to lose until I reach a healthy BMI, and only 13 pounds left to lose until I reach my goal weight! Yay!

Robert lost 4.5 pounds this week! Wish I could have a week like that! I think it's great that he can still have weeks like that! He won this weeks Slimmer of the Week.

And it was Thanksgiving week, so I think we've both done really well. Eating healthy sure makes me feel better all around.